"Do people change or stay the same?" was the topic of our recent women's circle. My knee jerk reaction was, "Of course people change. Life = change!" Then something happened that made me think about it differently.

I remembered back to when I was a young adult and I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. She thought she knew me well enough to know how I would react in almost any situation - she was sure of it. I, on the other hand, thought that I didn't even know myself and how I might react to who-knows-what might happen in the future. I had heard lots of stories about people who had changed a lot in ways that were unexpected - the homeless person who used to be an upstanding citizen but wasn't mentally ill, the neighbor who was friendly and seemed nice who turned out to commit some vicious crime. And then there were success stories about people who accomplished great things when they were a wall flower in school. These seemed like reasons to believe that people can change drastically.

Recently I was involved in a project at my church with several other people and I was concerned about how it would pull together, especially about one individual. A friend of mine reminded me of the character of that person I was concerned about and what we know about him that would make us envision great follow-through and performance. It was a matter of trust in a person's character.

I realized that that's what my friend saw in me when I was young. She trusted my character and that's how she felt she knew how I would act in most any circumstance. She was right. I have a core that has stayed essentially the same. Actually that core has been strengthened; strengthened by the people who put trust in me to follow through.

Having a community of friends who know each other well enough to trust in them in a variety of circumstances feels very comforting. It's good to have people who trust in me, too.

Of course we change with life, but if we have a trustworthy core character, we can see that in some ways we really don't change.